We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
