super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Randomize
