pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
