he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
