She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize