hell yes lets make some ravioli
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
