there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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