He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
