I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
