there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
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you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
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I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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