i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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