I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
