we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
