this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
