just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
