I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize