who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
