I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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