I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
