This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We're too hungover to prance.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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