What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
