I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
