You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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