Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize