Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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