I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
