He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
