Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize