my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Small penises have feelings too.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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