I hate your face
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
