Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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