erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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