Having a random hookup so left but love u
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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