Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize