Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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