Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
