Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize