Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
