READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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