Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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