Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
