would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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