how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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