I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
