i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize