I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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