Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
