In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
