shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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