evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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