I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
