at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
