How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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