What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
