How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
